Drugs of the Future

November 8

by Blane Morton

Who doesn’t love fantasizing about what will be the next latest and greatest drug to hit the black market? You know, it wasn’t too long ago that growth hormone wasn’t readily available. Those Andro pills in Mark McGuire’s locker look more like chewable vitamins than a congressional problem next to the prohormones we have available today. You would have to have absolutely no imagination at all not to be curious as to what’s next? It’s the hope that keeps many guys training. If science can just crack the superhuman code it could eventually be in the hands of the guys on the streets. So what is it?

By now we’ve all seen the Belgium Blue bull with a myostatin resistant gene. Lucky cow! An all-natural, hormone free animal that’s bigger and stronger than anything we’ve seen before including those animals jabbed in the ear with tren pellets. The magical drug administered is Follistatin and right now it costs an arm and a leg to afford and it’s even trickier to obtain. Many conspiracy theorists in bodybuilding believe mega freaks like Ronnie and Big Ramy should credit Follistatin as the cause of their abnormally dense and massive bodies. Hard to argue when you look like the side-by-sides of them and the cow.

What if Follistatin became as easy to buy as growth hormone? Would that make steroids and growth hormones obsolete? And would that make for better sports and better bodybuilding or just a bigger version of what we already have?

Obviously there are a lot of questions to be answered. Has it already been manufactured at a low cost to the consumer, but is not being released for fear of it getting out of control? The thought of it makes me think of the movie The Incredible Hulk, an injection that could make our soldiers as big as Ronnie Coleman, as athletic as Georges St. Pierre, and as fast as Usain Bolt. Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself, but maybe not, after all I’m fantasizing about the drugs of the future.

Not only do I think releasing a true myostatin blocker to the masses would all but crush just about everything shy of HRT doses of testosterone and growth hormone, I think it would make for a real moral and ethical debate for athletes who previously never had a problem with using hormones. In other words, you’re not concealing your use with gene therapy. This stuff could make Miley Cyrus look like Serena Williams—well, only if she used Melanotan II along with it.

Bodybuilders would still likely dive right in and still pound away at grams of test and tren without batting an eye. Other athletes might follow suit as well or at least until the drug testers finally caught on. And side effects, bodybuilders and athletes don’t care about side effects; well, most of them. It’s all about the money baby!

As for other drugs in the future, I’d love to see a fast acting endurance drug. Nothing archaic like EPO, but something straight to the point: a guy off the street who never jogged in his life could swallow the pill or take the shot and go run a 6 minute mile. Or how about a joint pill that actually worked? Enough with this glutamine and chondroitin nonsense – go eat your shark cartilage you hippies.

Science has been researching for decades on a cure for cancer to no avail. Yet sport science seems to be doing laps around just about every other scientific advancement. Is this form of muscle mutation chemistry really that much easier? I hope I live long enough to see what comes out in 50 years – a 400lb bodybuilder; a 3 minute mile runner; a 1000lb raw bench presser? Let’s do it!